Not The Donny

tumblr_mg6gn8kqNU1qdkmp5o1_500Feelings of inadequacy, less than a man

A feeling that is not the usual
A feeling that I just cant stand

Down graded to a little year-old boy
Sucking my thumb, breast feeding, playing with toys

I try to stand yet I get pushed down
Sometimes to my knee
Other-times down to the ground

My handsomeness turns in to cute
My strength evens becomes weak
My motivation turns to procrastination
My eyes only see blind

You intimidate me
Its not your beauty, I have had finer
Its not your money, I can be Bill Gates Co-signer
Its not your experience, I can write a how-to book

Its just the things that you do
That I also do
But you are better

I am no competition in certain areas of the mind
You just leave me stumped, with nothing to say
In aw that you even know, what you know
Things that I dont even know
Or have even heard of

Once felt educated, on top of things, knowledgeable
Once felt advanced, expertise, and right
Now feelings of idiocy, ignorance and noviceness
This is a feeling that I’m trying to fiight

I respect true love to much to buy it.

I need true love so much I would cry for it.

For my true love I would die for it.

To see my true love happy I would forfeit it.

If I cant make my true love happy  I will leave it.

If my true love cheated I wouldn’t believe it.

1111

Like the air I breathe, my true love I need it.

If my true love wanted a thug I would be it.

I wont cause any pain to my true love but I’m willing to receive it.

For my true love I will go down and eat it.

Every morning for my true love I will kiss it.

Every thing that my true love did I would adore it.

All the things my true love did I would support it.

I would let my true love free, I would never control it.

If my true love wanted affection I would give it.

For my true love I would do anything to keep it.

Where is my true love, I wish i could see it.

imagesAlthough we have known each other forever, I just recently realized who my love is. There were times where I hated my love. There were times when I wanted to change my love. There were times when I even wanted to kill my love. But my love survived, matured, and thrived. The love for my love has always been a work in progress. My love for my love is growing and people say nothing feels better than when you love this love. I understand this love and this love really wants to love me. Sometimes I don’t let it because sometimes I’m not ready. Sometimes people will come into our lives and love this love. They will try to pry you away from your love and try to get you to love them first and more. Sometimes you voluntarily love them more but, at the end of the day when they are gone you realize who your real love is. When it’s dark and lonely at night and no one is around you realize that this love is all you’ve had your whole life and all you need. The love for my love is the love that I have for myself.

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Do you believe your lover? Do you really believe them? I’m not talking about believing them when they said they haven’t cheated on you or why they were home late from hanging with their friends. I’m talking about when they tell you something that may seem irrational or off the wall, and something that you really don’t understand or even have even phathomed. Something very personal and vulnerable like them saying, “Babe, the reason why I was upset was not because you were talking to her, it was because you were not talking to me” or “I’m not upset that you spent the money, I’m just upset that you didn’t ask me first” or even “I’m not upset that you still talk to your ex, I’m just upset that you haven’t told them about me

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The reason why NotTheDonny brings up this subject is because sometimes we as lovers use our own personal experiences and personal feelings to define our lover’s feelings.  Sometimes it makes more sense for us to project what is in our heads or what has been our experience on to our lovers because it is what is familiar to us. To really understand your lover we must listen to their words and try to understand what they are feeling. No matter how foreign of a feeling or emotion they are trying to express us is at the moment, it is imperative that we at least try to speak and understand their emotional language. Even if you don’t understand or simply don’t believe what is being told to you at first,  if your lover has any credibility at all it just might be best to try to believe what is being said anyways. As lovers, this is just as important as any relationship task.

The understanding between lovers is a long and ever learning task. When  conquered understanding is a beautiful feeling and moment, even if we disagree with our lover’s feeling or feel the feeling is simply crazy. Crazy people want to be understood too and understanding, at the very least, puts lovers on the same page emotionally.

They didn’t eat sushi. They didn’t eat Indian. They didn’t eat Greek. Their idea of eating something new was trying that new Dorritos taco from Taco Bell. Yes, I broke up them because: they didn’t eat sushi.

Before you think I’m crazy allow me to explain. Sushi to me represented much more than spicy tuna and rainbow rows. It represented being open minded and willing to try something different, new, and unique. The key word here is “TRY”, and they wouldn’t even entertain the idea of introducing themselves to a new taste as if they could never say bye to it. But, it wasn’t just taste buds we are talking here. They were just so stuck in their ways and refused to ever go out of her comfort zone. They wouldn’t want to travel to unfamiliar cities, try new sporting activities, see a new up and coming band, or even go beyond the 3 generic sex positions (doggy, cowgirl, and missionary).

Anything I suggested new was immediately dismissed like a 5’2” guy in the club. As soon as they heard the word “TRY” in a sentence they cringed and and would say, “You know I don’t do things like that.” Things like what!? Eat? Explore? Adventure? Do something different? It’s not even like I wasn’t going to pay for everything either.

Sometimes you just have to spice things up in a relationship and try new things. Sometimes it’s just good to go on a little adventure and get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you just want to try a new sexual position just to say you have done it before.

Lovers, spice things up a bit. Try that new exotic restaurant. Travel to somewhere where they don’t speak English or have a McDonalds. Watch that kinky porn and do whatever they do in it.  Have fun. Doing the same things over in a relationship makes a relationship boring and stagnant. You always want to look for new things to do together to help keep the love juices flowing and fresh. Keep watering your relationship. The saying goes “the grass is always greener on the other side” but, this is only true when you stop watering and fertilizing your very own side.

Dating a stripper is no one’s first choice. But, we sometimes skip our moral senses and choose to. Not The Donny is not here to judge. We are here to simply tell it like it is and give several reasons when dating a stripper is perfectly OK. This applies to both men and women.

After a divorce or after your partner cheated on you. Usually after this happens you are at the strip club a lot anyways so it is pretty easy to get friendly with the likes of “Diamond” or “Alize”. If dating her/him helps you get out of your little depressive funk then it’s all good.

STD positive
. If you are STD positive you already have a lot in common with the stripper you are tossing dollar bills at. Plus, it’s not like you are going to give them something they don’t already have.

Senior Citizens. That’s right! If you are 55 and older it is perfectly fine and in fact encouraged to date a stripper. It is fine because doing so will help you feel young, vibrant, and rejuvenated, and encouraged because sex is said to help you live longer.

When you are ugly. Let’s face it, the ugly have a very limited dating pool to choose from. Thus, if a you are ugly and a stripper likes you, go for it. You might not get another chance.

Turning a hoe into a housewife. If you are in love with a stripper and are 100% committed into turning them into a housewife/househusband then I say go for it. I commend you.

If the stripper makes more money that you. Someone needs to pay the bills and if said stripper is willing let them.

Forreal-Forreal. In all seriousness it’s OK if you are prepared to deal with the jealously, negative attention, stigma and the possible backlash from friends and family. If you are prepared to take it very slow emotionally, and accepting of her and what she does then it’s ok.

Quick history lesson. Chivalry originally comes from the French term “Horseman”, and it referred to the nobility, honor, and spirit of treating others in a courteous fashion. Contemporary usage of the word has it referring to men properly treating women in a courteous,  “woman’s first” fashion.

Chivalry today is much different than it has been in the past. Back in the day chivalrous men would open doors, pay for dinner, and help a woman take off their coat because they took pride in being a gentleman. They would treat each chivalrous act as a gift to the women in their lives, expecting nothing in return. Chivalry was a necessary quality in a man that women looked for.

Chivalry has gone from meaning “Horsemen” to meaning “Horseshit”! Women unknowingly killed chivalry. Like a baby dropped off at an orphanage in a basket, women left chivalry unwanted, unnurtured, rejected, and undesirable.  Women don’t look for chivalry anymore. If they did they would demand, expect, and seek chivalry. But, something else has seemingly distracted a woman’s eyes in 2012.

It has been said that “girls are the new boys”. This may very well be true. Women these days are more  independent, sexual, proud, and confident (as they should be). But, some women have grown to feel that they don’t need a man to do anything for them, materially or emotionally.  So they look for and find men who can’t and aren’t willing to do anything for them. Trouble then ensues when a woman falls in love with the man who can’t and won’t do anything for them. Their guards are let down and they  become hurt when the man is not reciprocating the trust, love, and affection in the relationship. The blame is then put on all men and on chivalry being dead.

Women, please stop saying that chivalry is dead. Chivalry is not dead. You are just not looking for it anymore. Be honest with yourself. If you were, you would be dating that super nice, sweet, loving, boy that you pushed into your “friend zone”, or you would have at least given him a chance. Yeah you know the one that always has your back, who asks about how your day was, and listens to all your complaints. But, no instead you have been dating the opposite and even have a baby daddy with a police record.

I mean think about it. Women have all gone through their stage of loving a “thug”, “bad Boy”, or “tough guy”. There are no qualities of chivalry in these types of men. So in liking these types of men what are women telling men? To lose the nice act and get a tattoo?

Women learn yourself, and then know yourself. If your dating a bad boy and are in love with a bad boy, don’t complain about chivalry being dead. That’s like buying a range rover and expecting to get 40 miles per gallon. It ain’t gonna happen. Stop confusing yourself and stop confusing us men. We are already easily confused.

Chivalry is an orphan that needs to be adopted in 2012. It needs to adopted into women’s needs and into what they are looking for. It needs to be loved, nurtured, needed, and respected. Although elusive, if women really wanted chivalry they could find it.

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