NotTheDonny

I broke up with them because: they fell in love with me

Posted on: March 14, 2012

It’s supposed to go like this:  > Boy meets girl  >> Boy dates girl >>> Boy loves Girl >>>> Boy  lives happily ever-after with girl. As romantically ideal as this sounds, love life rarely works out this way. Sure the first 2 phases are fairly easy and the 3rd phase even occurs a few times in our lives but, that Happily Ever-After phase is as elusive as the Golden Child (only you Eddie Murphy fans will get this one). 

But, this isn’t going to be the usual blog about boy cheating on girl, or other reasons why love didn’t work out between two people. This blog is about one person not wanting love in their life, about someone not being ready for love.

The moment she said, “I love you” was the moment when things started to go down hill. She put this pressure on our relationship that I just wasn’t ready for. We went from “daters” to “lovers”, from “close friends” to “lovers”, from “boo’s” to “lovers”, and I just wasn’t comfortable with that. I wasn’t ready for that and I wasn’t having it. So I ran. I broke up with her because she loved me.

I broke up with her because I was selfish. But, not selfish in a negligible, inattentive way. I was selfish in a way where I simply wanted to put my needs first and foremost. I wanted to do what I wanted to do in life without it affecting anyone else’s feelings. I just wanted to do me.

I broke up with her because I have been in love before. I loved being in love but love was just not something I wanted again, at least for the moment. Being in love took up too much of my energy, thoughts, and emotions. I needed them all back for myself. I needed them back so that I could re-center myself,  reset,  and start over.

I broke up with her because I had other priorities, and at the time being in-love was not one of them. Being in-love was not even on my mind when she told me that she loved me. I was focused on my education, career, and goals. My priority was myself.

I broke up with her because I didn’t love myself. Wise-man says you can’t truly love  someone without loving yourself first. So I listened to the wise-man. I was finding myself, I was searching. I was learning myself, I was understanding. I was looking at myself in the mirror everyday. Looking at every hair, every wrinkle and every flaw. I wanted to love myself, just as much as she loved me.

I broke up with her because I wasn’t  ready to open up. I wasn’t ready to tell her my pain, or my passions. I wasn’t ready for her to see all of me, or the real me. I wanted to keep my secrets a secret.  I felt vulnerable. I wasn’t comfortable with that.

As time passed I did realize that I did love her too. But, I just wasn’t ready to. I often wonder if she still loves me true.

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5 Responses to "I broke up with them because: they fell in love with me"

Absolutely understand… I went through the exact same thing..

[…] the full excellent article here: I broke up with them because: they fell in love with me Pin It jQuery(document).ready(function($) { […]

Thanks for the compliments!

Neh, you broke up with her because you weren’t in love with her back. because if you were, all that ”i’m not ready to be vulnerable” malarky would have flown out the window. You wouldn’t have felt pressured because you would have felt the same way.
Sure you weren’t in love with yourself, and all that….but even that wouldn’t have mattered, and maybe wouldn’t even have been true, let alone occurred to you, if you had been in love with her.

Some people follow their heads and not their hearts. I can tell you are one to follow your heart.

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