Understanding starts with effort and belief

Posted on: April 1, 2013

Do you believe your lover? Do you really believe them? I’m not talking about believing them when they said they haven’t cheated on you or why they were home late from hanging with their friends. I’m talking about when they tell you something that may seem irrational or off the wall, and something that you really don’t understand or even have even phathomed. Something very personal and vulnerable like them saying, “Babe, the reason why I was upset was not because you were talking to her, it was because you were not talking to me” or “I’m not upset that you spent the money, I’m just upset that you didn’t ask me first” or even “I’m not upset that you still talk to your ex, I’m just upset that you haven’t told them about me


The reason why NotTheDonny brings up this subject is because sometimes we as lovers use our own personal experiences and personal feelings to define our lover’s feelings.  Sometimes it makes more sense for us to project what is in our heads or what has been our experience on to our lovers because it is what is familiar to us. To really understand your lover we must listen to their words and try to understand what they are feeling. No matter how foreign of a feeling or emotion they are trying to express us is at the moment, it is imperative that we at least try to speak and understand their emotional language. Even if you don’t understand or simply don’t believe what is being told to you at first,  if your lover has any credibility at all it just might be best to try to believe what is being said anyways. As lovers, this is just as important as any relationship task.

The understanding between lovers is a long and ever learning task. When  conquered understanding is a beautiful feeling and moment, even if we disagree with our lover’s feeling or feel the feeling is simply crazy. Crazy people want to be understood too and understanding, at the very least, puts lovers on the same page emotionally.


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