NotTheDonny

It’s just like PTSD

Love can cause trauma when there’s infidelity

They cheated on you while you were busy loving them

Naive,  now sorry that u even meet them

You gave them everything and some more

Even bought them everything in the damn store

Dont know whether to hate them or yourself

They took everything away from you that you considered wealth

Trust,  loyalty,  intimacy,  support

But they rejected you,  like lebron did iggy on the court

Now lost emotionally witbout emotions

You sit alone at the beach alone with the oceans

Your  breath feels heavy,  you cry dry tears

Because you cried so much its only been a week but, it felt like years

First time you ever felt like dying

Now, as you lay alone crying

What to do now,  you just don’t fucking know

Thought you had a plan and was ready to go….

But the plane crashed in tragedy

Now the destination’s unknown

Every 5 minutes u stare and check the stupid phone

Waiting for a call that will never, ever come

An apology,  a good excuse, a misunderstanding

But,  everything was perfectly understood

Fact is,  they don’t love you and probably never did

They don’t love any more, you too wish you never did

Who knew love could cause trauma

Who knew love could kill

Who knew love could be used by the devil, to break someones will

Your heart needs a cast

Your brain wants to forget

You want to stop thinking about the revenge u want to get

Who knew love could cause trauma

Who knew a life could turn mute

Who knew love could kill

Who knew love could just drive by and shoot

Your hands are up and for once you welcome death

Would rather have that than taking another crying breath

mended-heart-gun-splatter-1

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So i front

So i lie

So i pretend to be that cool guy

Pretend to be that nice guy

Acting like I only want to be friends guy

Even though I see more in my big eyes

No, this is not a game

I’m not playing around acting lame

I’m just cruising in the slow lane while you are in the fast

Hoping that you will look over before you drive past

And notice me the way I notice you

And look at me the way I look at you

But, you’re in the fast lane with your passenger seat reserved

Loyal but, hurt when you found he has another her

Now driving fast to a destination that’s unknown

Now flying fast to a different time zone

If ever you pull over or are ready to land

I’ll be waiting here ready just to hold your hand

Ready to give you anything that you ever need

Ready to perform for you any deed

Even if it’s just for a single night stop

When you take off again… I’ll just start this poem over from the top

I don’t want your ass

What I want is your heart

You see it has been said that

Men use love for sex

And Women use sex for love

Well this type of man is not me

And this type of women is not for me

I don’t want your ass

I want your heart

An ass is easy,

I can go anywhere and find two cheeks and a crack, that I can flip up and smack

Though it may not be as big as yours

In fact, I have an ass too

So why do I want yours

I want your heart

I need your heart

I want your emotions, when you are emotional

I want to be your love when you are in love

I want to be the dreams during your day, while you are day dreaming…all…day long

I want my love to be your desire

Something that can set your body into an orgasmic fire

And something you are willing to beg and die for

I don’t want your ass

I want your heart

Although I lay in bed and grab my self late at night

And dream of your round, thonged ass in my site

At the same time I am holding my chest

And wishing for a piece of your heart

Yes I want your lust

But what I need is your love

Why do all relationships start with ass

And never…heart?

Let us start differently

Be less ordinary

Try something new

Can we begin with heart

original

 

 

 

 

 

It’s just like PTSD

Love can cause trauma when there’s infidelity

They cheated on you while you were busy loving them

Naive,  now sorry that u even meet them

You gave them everything and some more

Even bought them everything in the damn store

Dont know whether to hate them or yourself

They took everything away from you that you considered wealth

Trust,  loyalty,  intimacy,  support

But they rejected you,  like lebron did iggy on the court

Now lost emotio1333701159741244nally witbout emotions

You sit alone at the beach alone with the oceans

Your  breath feels heavy,  you cry dry tears

Because you cried so much its only been a week but, it felt like years

First time you ever felt like dying

Now, as you lay alone crying

What to do now,  you just don’t fucking know

Thought you had a plan and was ready to go….

But the plane crashed in tragedy

Now the destination’s unknown

Every 5 minutes u stare and check the stupid phone

Waiting for a call that will never, ever come

An apology,  a good excuse, a misunderstanding

But,  everything was perfectly understood

Fact is,  they don’t love you and probably never did

They don’t love any more, you too wish you never did

Who knew love could cause trauma

Who knew love could kill

Who knew love could be used by the devil, to break someones will

Your heart needs a cast

Your brain wants to forget

You want to stop thinking about the revenge u want to get

Who knew love could cause trauma

Who knew a life could turn mute

Who knew love could kill

Who knew love could just drive by and shoot

Your hands are up and for once you welcome death

Would rather have that than taking another crying breath

mended-heart-gun-splatter-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh so I see,

What you want you have already had

What you seek, you have already seen

Your need was once satisfied but now no longer

So you hunger…

Maybe even wonder…

Wonder if you could ever get it back again

Hiding your true feelings and saying, “I just want to be friends”

Hunger for what was

Not realizing that what was, is still a “was”

And will never be an “is”, even if Webster made an editorial correction and changed the definition

So keep longing

Keep waiting

Stay in that state of mental larva

Only knowing what you know and pretending like what was, is

Never feeling the growing metamorphiszing into a stage 2 caterpillar

That growing, growing, growing, into eventual butterfly

And eventual Knowing, knowing, knowledge of reality and life

But butterflies only live less than a short year

So, maybe this is your fear

That maybe your one year will be hard and lonely

But the key word is “live”

And this “live” is what should be your “is”

Remember, few get the change to live as beautiful as a butterfly

Less get the chance to fly

But if you really want to live

Fly away butterfly, fly

​Sitting here…

Contemplating your age

No older than 27, no younger than 23

Contemplating that odor and smell

That fills up the room

As you walk in the room

As I stare

At you walking by

Maybe Chanel No. 5?
Contemplating when to make my move

When to begin to flirt with you?

When will be the right time to pursue?

Maybe after you order your coffee

Sitting here waiting…

As you stand in line

tick tock

Waiting to see what you order

tick tock

and see if you pay

cash or charge?
Waiting to see if you ever did see me

When you walked by me

Or at least saw me seeing you

Staring at you

Smelling you

As you walked by
Sitting here waiting 

Thinking, tinkering with my ice-breaker line

Should I come with a joke and smile 

Or simple salutation…”Hello, Hi” or “What’s Up?”

Or maybe “Hey, What kind of coffee did you get in your cup?”

Nah…
Sitting here navigating

My eyes, into your eyes

Melodies of a Tony, Toni, Tone remix

Because you got them Pretty Green Eyes
Navigating my eyes down to your neck

Onto your back, down to your thigh

Wish you would turn around

Wish I could see more

Just have to use my hip, height to weight booty-ratio equation

In order to fulfill my lustful imagination
Navigating day-dreamed thoughts in my head

Of a possible future with you

On our first date walking hand in hand

And then I lean over and kiss you

Shaking my head…now back to reality

I’m just sitting here…Anticipating

Anticipating you getting your coffee

So that I can step up

Hoping not to choke and fuck this up
Anticipating the sweat that I always get when I spit my game

Anticipating the embarrassment of rejection, hoping not to look too lame

Anticipating the right thing to say

When is the right time to say, the right thing to say

What should I say, when I find the right time to say the right thing to say

…I don’t know
Sitting here contemplating, waiting, navigating, anticipating

As you walk by 

With a coffee in hand and a bright smile

As you stare at me?

As you walk to me?

And ice-break your “Can I sit down?” line to me

Then put your hand for support on my knee

As you sit down next to me?

Pinching myself because this is too good to be

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